Get Smart

My campus has a new building that is very technology oriented. Lights are motion censored, smart boards are used, very 21st century. I have had a class in there all semester after spending most of my college career in a building full of chalkboards. This is a big change.

Last night I started a new class in another building that I haven't really been in before. I got there early to work on the computer, but the room was dark. Seeing that the room was full of computers, and did in fact have a smart board, I figured they must be motion lights. I started walking around hoping the lights would pop on, but they did not. Sighing I set down my tea and bag and jumped around where I thought the sensor might be. Nothing. Then I actually said aloud, "stupid smart room." I went to another building only to discover the computers were down. Maybe that's why the lights didn't come on, I thought, maybe it's all connected. I went back to my building and stood around in the hallway, as opposed to sitting alone in an empty dark room. Another student entered the room and I watched eagerly to see how he would react. He reached over and flicked on the light switch.

digital doom

My TV is eight years old. It has a VCR built into it. I get four channels with an antenna that only has one ear (anteni?). I'm okay with this. But now everywhere you turn its February this, digital converter box that. I decided not to get one and just be TVless, whatever. Then I got a coupon and it was only $10.00, so I went and got one. The big selling point was that the box comes with a remote. I do not have a TV remote, just one for the DVD player. This will be important later.

So, my dad ordered the coupon and I went and picked it up yesterday before work. After work I decided to install it. Problem one: I need a power strip. Four things can't be plugged in to two jacks people! No big deal, easily fixable. I breeze through instillation lalala, this is SO easy, I'm a technological wizard! Now just turn the sucker on. Problem two: To set it up the TV must be turned to channel 3. My channel 3 is not programmed. I have no remote. OK, I start pushing buttons on the front of the TV. Menu, yes! Add/Delete channels, yes please! Problem three: Delete is the default, and I cannot get it to go to add. Why won't it go to add?

Conclusion: I cannot get my converter box to work. And I accidentally deleted channel 8 in all the confusion. In my quest to get more channels I now get less.

oh, really?

I've started a few posts this week, but none have turned out well, so I decided to just tell a story about me being a dumb ass. Most of you may have heard this one, but I like it and felt it was blog worthy.

It's been established that technology and I don't mix, so when I bought an I Pod a few months ago no one was more surprised then me. I've used it exactly three times. My most recent was a few weekends ago at the local pool. I keep it hidden, sure someone will spot me for the technology posed that I am. As I was adjusting the volume someone noticed it and asked me about it, that led to the following conversation:

Dude: "Is that the I Pod touch?"

Me, internally: "Hmm, it's an I Pod, I touch it to make it go..."

Me to dude: "Yes"

Dude: "Really? Do you like it?"

Me: "Well, I'm not that good at this stuff, but yeah."

Dude: "What are you listening too?'

Me: "This American Life"

Dude: "Who are they?"

Me: "It's a show on NPR"

Dude: "Oh"

Conversation effectively killed.

Me later to my brother: "I have an I Pod touch, right?"

Bro: "Um...No. It's a classic."

Me: "Oh, I thought because I touched it to make it go..."

Bro: "........." Accompanied with look of pity and horror.

Irrational Me

I was talking to a friend the other day about technology. A phrase I repeat frequently is "I hate technology." But that's not really true, I just don't understand it. And that makes me angry.
I'm bringing this up for several reasons, first I deleted my blog last week because I was mad. Mad that I had to take the time to update it, mad that people weren't commenting, mad that I was even blogging. How cliche. But I kinda like blogging, and who cares if people don't read it or feel the need to comment? So for now I'm a blogger.


Secondly I frequently feel the need to share the dumb ass things that happen to me, and what better place then this? So last night when I realized what an idiot I am I thought, "I have to blog this." And so I am.


For about three years I have not had a remote to my TV, and my DVD remote only works sometimes. This causes problems when I want to watch say, the third episode on a disc and can't navigate the menu. Sometimes the default is play all, in which case I can hit the play button on the machine and skip through all the episodes. But sometimes the default is on a particular episode, and won't advance without the remote, or it's defaulted to play commentary, crazy things like that. As you can imagine this has let to frustration on my part, cursing, throwing things, possibly tears. Yet I never thought to buy a new remote, or DVD player, or, apparently, change the batteries. Yes, last night I wanted a Wonderfalls fix, but my remote wasn't cooperating. After some angry words I spied a small radio I use to listen to baseball. I saw the radio, I saw the remote with its batteries strewn about the room (it may have been briefly air born), and I thought, "this might be crazy enough to work." And it did.


Three years of DVD frustration and I'll I needed to do was get two AA batteries. I hate technology.