And the winner of the first annual funniest person I know award goes to....ME! Oh my god I was not expecting this!
To those of you who feel like you should have received this years award, get over it. You obviously aren't funny enough. So plaster on a fake smile and clap politely while I make my acceptance speech.
"This is such a surprise, thank you everyone. There are so many people. First I want to thank my mom. You taught me sarcasm, the proper use of eye rolling, and most importantly the ability to laugh at people who hurt themselves. Yes, while most parents instilled their children with compassion and empathy, not you. Thank you. And my dad. You taught me off color jokes, the importance of knowing your audience, and the way a well placed swear word can add emphasis. Thank you. To my extended family- thank you for being so ridiculous. After spending time at family gatherings we would go home with hours of priceless material to amuse ourselves with. Thank you for being you.
Next I would like to thank The Simpsons for the word Jeebus, hilarious. And Super troopers for, well everything. To Catholic school for instilling me with large amounts of guilt and self loathing, without which no one is truly funny."
[Music Starts]
"Oh no, I'm not done. Okay okay, I need to thank the most important person off all, without whom this would not have been possible, me. I could not have done this without my incredible wit and good humor. Thank you, me, for being who you are."
3 comments:
i feel as though you may have practiced saying this while looking in the mirror holding a hairbrush... twice.
Jokes on you, if you knew me you would know that I cannot look into a mirror and practice fake award speeches, I am to distracted by the reflection.
Great blog! I came to see who was linking to mine and thought I'd stay awhile and partake of YOU!
I'll be back!
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